The Fork Was Lonely
by Zaise
Summary: A silly fic where Duo and Quatre spy on their respective lovers, communicating through walkie-talkies given to them by Relena.


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THE FORK WAS LONELY  
by Laisia [animestarre@aol.com]  
Warnings: Yaoi implications. Just plain silly.  
Disclaimer: GW isn't mine. You can't sue me! ;)  
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Relena smiled and tossed a walkie-talkie to Quatre and Duo in return. "Happy belated birthdays to both of you! I'm sorry I wasn't able to get these to you on your respective birthdays, but--"  
She was cut off by a massive glomp by Duo. "Relena-sama! WALKIE TALKIES! Arigatou!" he shouted gleefully.  
Quatre sweatdropped. "Errm... Duo... I don't think she can breathe..."  
Duo looked at Relena. Sure enough, her face was turning blue and she was making little choking noises. "Whoops!" he said quickly, letting her go. She fell to the floor, gasping for breath. "Well, thanks again, Relena! Let's go back to the safehouse, Q-man; I have plans for these babies!" With that, he grabbed Quatre's hand and dragged him out the door.  
Relena stood up and brushed off her skirt. "What was I thinking?" she muttered. "I might as well have just given a pyro freak a box of matches..."  
  
"Maverick, do you read me? This is Chaos, reporting in!"  
"I read you, loud and clear. Status report requested."  
"Dale has passed the mustard."  
"What the hell?"  
"Oh, come on, Maverick, you remember what that means!"  
"Umm... oh, right, that means that Trowa is--"  
"IIE! Don't say it, you idiot! That's the point of the CODE!"  
"Gomen, Duo..."  
"CHAOS."  
"Chaos. Fine. Gomen, Chaos."  
"Status report requested, Maverick."  
"The cricket has kicked the stove."  
"HE'S WHAT?!"  
"You heard what I said, Chaos..."  
"Ohh man. Ohh boy. I need a tissue."  
"Nosebleed?"  
"No shit, Sherlock."  
"Maverick."  
"It's an expression, you dimwit!"  
"I know, but I'm being difficult."  
"Oh, gee, I couldn't tell."  
"Come on, let's not fight... EEP!"  
"Nani? NANI?"  
"MOTHER GOOSE SAID THE FORK WAS LONELY!"  
"GAH! No way! You're kidding!"  
"I never lie..."  
"Hey, that's MY line! You can't use it!"  
"Tough. Now, are you going to get over here or what?"  
"Na- na- nani?!"  
"He looks like he'd be happier doing the job with you helping..."  
"Well, so does Trowa. Why don't you go help him out?"  
"You mean..."  
"Yup! Mother Goose said the fork was lonely over here, too."  
"Sounds good to me. I'll go right over... Over and out."  
  
Wufei rose out of his chair at the sound of the video phone. He pushed the button, and Relena's face appeared on the screen. "Oh, hello, Relena," he said.  
"Hi. I want to talk to-- what IS that ruckus?" she suddenly asked, leaning forward in an attempt to hear the noise better.  
A sweatdrop appeared on the side of Wufei's head. "Well... it's... the dishwasher! Right. Yes! It's the dishwasher. Our dishwasher is very loud, and..."  
Relena raised an eyebrow and cut him off. "Dishwashers don't moan."  
Wufei's sweatdrop doubled in size. "Well... you see..."  
"Uhoh... damn! It's my fault. Now they can catch each other while they're... you know..." Relena said uncertainly, turning beet red.  
"YOU gave them those confounded walkie-talkies?!" Wufei shouted, constraining himself from lunging at the video screen. "So this unseemly behavior is YOUR fault?! Just like a woman to give such an impractical, unbeneficial gift!"  
Relena yelled back, "How was I supposed to know they'd use them for THAT? I'm not psychic!"  
A loud scream of ecstasy filling up the house cut her off, causing both herself and Wufei to cover their ears. They said in unison, "That was Duo."  
"Well, I think I'll go now... I really don't need to hear this. That's your job. After all, you're the one who lives with them, right?" Relena then switched off the video phone, just in time to miss Trowa's passion-filled shout of Quatre's name.  
Wufei stared at the blank video screen for a moment. Then he remembered his situation. And the fact that it was Relena's fault. So he did the only thing that he could think to do. "ONNNNNNNNNNNAAAAA!"


End file.
